Mega Million Lottery

So guess who didn't win this Friday's lottery? Yeah, me! And I'm not happy about it. I have never bought lottery tickets because I knew I wouldn't win. But I thought this time would be different. You know, the jackpot was really high and I was feeling lucky. You gotta believe that half of winning the lottery is mental. If you go in with a bad attitude, you are probably going to lose. But on Friday, I bought those tickets, and damnit, I was going to win.

I bought two, one for me and one for Laura. The winning number set of course would be mine, and the losing one would be Laura's. She would probably tell you differently though. Anyway, I had a great mindset when I bought the tickets. I just put the ticket in my pocket and let fate do the rest. I didn't analyze my numbers. I didn't try and memorize them. I just let them marinade in the cotton of my awesome khaki work pants.

The drawing wasn't until 11 that night, so to pass the time Laura and I went out to dinner to preemptively spend some of our winnings. That's legit, right? We could have gone out and bought a car or the Denver Broncos, but it was a little late and we were hungry so we stuck with dinner.

After our pre-victory dinner we went home and were going to double check that we won on the internet, but the website to lotto numbers was so slow. I guess everybody wanted check their tickets so they could go to bed pissed off. Well, not me. I told Laura, we already know the winning numbers, so lets just go to bed so we are fresh for tomorrow's newspaper interview and photo shoot. She agreed.

That night, I guess it was around midnight, I prayed. I prayed to God and Jesus because I wasn't really sure which one of them took responsibility for the Mega Millions Lottery. I mean they both could probably do it, but I'm sure one of them handles it just as one of them handles sporting event outcomes. Anyway, I knew it was a little late to start the praying because the numbers had already been drawn. But I was just hoping they would do me a solid and either change the numbers drawn or change the numbers on my ticket to make a match.

When I woke up in the morning I checked the numbers and they most definitely did NOT match my winning ticket. Good thing I didn't buy the Broncos last night. Well, I know for next time to pray before they pick the numbers. The prayers are probably answered on a first come first serve basis, and since I was just a little late on the last lottery I must be first in line for the next....


sweet. I can't wait to own those Broncos.

Some house updates

Here are a couple pictures of some of the recent house additions. First is the grill. Mark, Jesse, Inman, Drew, and Sharvan Parneerselvam got us this grill as a wedding present. It works great and helps make delicious food. We (haha, just kidding, I) made some pineapple and apricot glazed chicken which turned out awesome. And last night I grilled some burgers. Its nice because it heats up really quickly and there is a lot less clean up involved. I plan on using this bad boy a lot over the next several years. It will definitely get a work out for the party in two weeks.
Next we have a three in one picture. On the right side you can see a television hanging from the wall. In order to achieve this we had to get studs put in behind the drywall and I had to paint over the drywall patchwork. After that, Jim and I spent a little time getting the bracket on the wall and mounting the tv. It looks really nice up there, but our next project is concealing the cables. (At this point, we are not going behind the wall....too much work). Next you will see one of the two couches we ordered. The couch you see is the guest couch because it does not have a direct view of the tv. The couch that has the direct view is Laura and my couch. My seat has already conformed to my ass. Super comfy. But fear not potential guests, you can see the tv just fine, and you can recline and fall asleep just as easily. Finally, you will note the painting on the wall. This is the painting that launched a thousand trips......to atlantic station. I think it looks really nice and it helps to cover a bunch of marks on the wall. So there you have it, these are the most recent additions to the ever evolving Cross household. Future episodes will include "Laura picks out a rug!", "Robert pulls moar weedz!", and of course "The Crosses welcome a brand new coffee table!". Stay tuned!

Fantasy Football

This year I will be participating in not one, but two fantasy football leagues. With this great responsibility come many decisions. Do I put all my eggs in one basket and have the same players on each team? Should I focus all of my attention on one league? How many hours a week do I spend talking trash to the other players?

All of these questions need to be answered in the next couple weeks, so I need to get to work. But I can tell you this. I will completely dominate both leagues. In my work league all of the other managers are completely inept. Most of them don't even watch football and have already admitted to drafting their teams based on who has the best "costumes". I'm serious. It's the patented girl draft strategy. Let me give you an example; this happened a couple days ago. Somebody in the league asked me who I thought was better, Drew Brees or JaMarcus Russel. I was all like,

"Are you serious?? Have you seen the Raider costumes? They are so awesome!! Definitely Russel, I wouldn't even think twice."
He nodded his head quietly and said, "you know, I agree. Those costumes are total badass. Thanks for the help, brah."

You see, my work league is going to be a total cakewalk, and the only one walking is me! To make it better, everybody wanted to put money on. I guess they assume if they win (which they wont) they can use the winnings buy some designer jeans or a sweet man bag. Oh I can't wait to rob these suckers!

Stay tuned for some radical fantasy updates! w00T!!11!

Adventures in Time Wasting

Sit back and relax, this might be a long post. And as the title outlines my journey of yesterday, it too describes you reading this post.


Where do I begin? Ok, here we go. Yesterday I got a call from Laura who told me about this great painting she wanted to get from Z Gallery for our living room. The only problem was, they didn't have it at the location next to her work. The only place we could get it from was the store in Atlantic Station. For those of you who don't know, Atlantic station is a good 45 minutes (without traffic) from our house. I told Laura I wouldn't mind going down there after work (about a 25 minute drive) to pick it up. (You see, there was only one left in stock, and it was on sale, so we had to work fast.) This made Laura really happy, and since I didn't have much to do that night, it was really no trouble.


Before I left work to get the painting Laura told me that it was pretty big (dimensions 36"x72"), but I thought it would fit. All I would have to do is lay the front seat down and simply slide it in to the back of the car. After all, I am 72" tall, and I can lay down flat in the car. (Raise your hand if you think you know where this story is going.)


So I got down to Atlantic station, and I didn't want to park in the deck because its kind of a pain to get out with the whole ticket thing they got. So I found a spot on the street and fed the meter with a quarter and a dime. Yeah, that only got me about 11 minutes. I then ran into the store and told the ladies there that I was here to pick up the painting. At first they tried to charge me an extra $120, so I had to lay down the law. I said, "No, that's not the price we were given at the other store. See, I have this email (one from Laura telling me the price, definitely not official) that says the price is this." The lady gave me the following whoopi goldberg look.

I told her to call the other store and check. Sure enough, she checked the price and we were good to go. However, I was getting very impatient because I knew all of this haggling was taking up valuable time that I probably didn't have left on the meter. And to make it worse, the clerks who were supposed to be wrapping the painting were consulting with a shopper on what type of turquoise picture frame to get for their bedroom! Needless to say, I gave those guys the evil eye.

Finally! I got the painting and rushed back to my car to see the meter had expired, but there was no ticket! Phew! I had made it. Now I just had to shove this painting in the car and take off for home. So I opened up the front passenger side door and started to slide in the painting....uh oh. This POS wasn't fitting. I thought about it.... Maybe I can put it in the back seat and slide it to the front....No dice. I was all alone, standing on the streets of atlantic station with a car and a painting obviously too big for it. People were walking by me whispering, "does that idiot think that painting will fit into that tiny car?" Then I tried shoving it in a different direction. The whispers continued, "Gawd! He really is an idiot......let's keep watching."

It must have been like watching the dumbest cat in the litter trying to walk through a glass door and never really understanding why the hell it couldn't get through. I mean, there is nothing in the way! I can clearly see where I want to go. Why cant I get there? Stupid cat!

I called Laura and told her the situation. She suggested tying to the top of the car. I immediately knew that was a bad idea. There was no way that this would make it down the high way strapped to the car. We then decided to borrow her dad's expedition and come back that night to get it. But before I could take it back to the store I had to somehow get change for the meter. I had exhausted my supply of silver coins earlier in the adventure!

I saw a lady in uniform with a segway, so I thought I would go tell her the situation. She looked like the person that could keep me from getting a ticket. I walked across the street, painting in hand, and told her the entire situation. Then I asked, "Can you please not give me a ticket, I will be back really quick, I just need to drop off this painting." She replied, "I don't give parking tickets. I'm security!"..... "Srsly? You cant just watch it for a couple seconds?" I asked.

"Nope, Im security! I make sure Atlantic Station is secure."

Ok, that was a waste of energy. I'm not sure how much security one barely 5 foot tall lady with a radio, badge, and bike helmet can provide. But, oh well, I better keep those thoughts to myself. So now I, the man, had to walk back into the interior decorating store with my tail between my legs and tell the ladies I hassled with that I couldn't fit the painting in my car. This, as you can imagine, was embarrassing. I dashed into the store, dropped the painting off and ran the hell out of there! (You might be saying, why not just pick it up this weekend? Well, we only have a 24 hour return window so we have to see if we like it in the living room tonight. If not, we are stuck with it.) Now to start my journey back to Alpharetta to get the truck.....

(At this point in the story, as I'm driving back, there would be a montage. A super awesome montage of 80's power ballads showing my hair whipping in the wind as I solemnly drive back home. I'm talking a crazy awesome montage!)

I made it to Laura's parent's house so I could pick up the truck. Her dad tossed me the keys and asked, "going down to Atlantic Station?" I replied with my head down, "Yeah...again." He and Meredith both laughed. I know, I deserved it. With that, I was back on the road. Thank goodness there was little traffic. I mean there were plenty of cars on the road, but everyone was moving fast. About 45 minutes later I pulled into atlantic station, and snagged the first street spot I saw. I needed one I could pull into because I didn't want to further embarrass myself trying to parallel park a big truck I wasn't use to driving. I walked up to ZGallery, and sure enough there were three open spots right in front of the store. Crap.

I talked with the ladies at the desk again and they gave me my painting. I thanked them and immediately booked it out of there. I walked a couple blocks to the car, put the painting in the back and was on my way home. Why I ever thought that would fit in my car, I don't know. Like I said, I am 72" inches tall, and I can lay down flat. The thing I didn't consider was I am not 36" wide and I am not constructed like a painting. Life lessons.....life lessons.

(Again, here is a great time for a killer montage. This time instead of power ballades, let's use some sweet upbeat VanHalen, like Panama. Or if that doesn't work, we can keep it slow with Home by Daughtry. Either way, it will be sweet.)

I pulled into the driveway after my 3 and half hour adventure, and I was so glad to be home. Laura asked me as I walked in, "Well, do you like the painting?" I being no idiot responded, "you damn right I like it!" Because I knew exactly where I'd be if I didn't. Back in the car on my way to Atlantic Station.

Weekend update / little league world series

Ok,
Sorry, but I dont have pictures of what I did this weekend, but here's a rundown.

I painted over the patch of wall that was removed to put in studs for hanging the tv. And with the help of Laura's dad, we were able to get the tv on the wall, and it looks pretty sweet. Now, the best way to watch this tv is in the reclined position of our new couches. They were delivered on saturday. I took a couple naps on them this weekend, both of which were not planned. THe couch just sucks the energy right out of you. I should get one for my cube at work.....but I really dont need a couch to suck my energy out at work. Work has a way of doing that itself.

I also set up a back porch table where we can eat food from the newly built grill. So, to celebrate our newly transformed home we made some delicious pineapple/apricot glazed chicken with grilled zucchini and squash with grilled pineapple and ice cream for dessert. Yeah, it was awesome.

This weekend I also watched several hours of the little league world series. These games are either really close (1 to 2 run margin) or they are utter blow outs. Obviously the close games are better. My buddy from graduate school would always take a couple days off of work each summer just to watch days of coverage of the little league world series. I asked him, why the hell would you do that? He simply told me that he liked watching the losing team cry. I know, thats pretty weird.

One interesting thing they do (well its not that interesting) is they ask all the kids who their favorite ball players are. There is some regional bias, like kids from Seattle like ichiro, and kids from the midwest like Prince Fielder. I was surprised how many people liked Manny and A-rod. They should have a special broadcast where they tell these kids that those players are cheaters and they are bad children because they idolize cheaters. I think my buddy would watch that show.

Bretney Favre

I know I speak for millions of people out there when I say, Bret Favre is a dork. I mean seriously, this guy is the worst at what guys do best; making a decision and sticking to it. For instance, when guys drive some place for the first time and they get to a fork in the road, they go right and don't think twice about it. We don't go right a little bit then go back to take a left, then think about it and go back right again. No, that is just crazy.


Well Favara did just that, for the third time in a year or so. Granted he is great at throwing a football, shooting wrangler commercials of him throwing a football, wearing faded hats to news conferences, talking like a six foot tall 4th grader, and taking pain medications, but he is not good at being cool.


I know why the vikings took Favra back from retirement. It's simple. Money. They are going to get more national television publicity and sell more jerseys. But, come on. I feel like the vikings are taking advantage of the dude. We have already established that Faavra isn't very smart. He's like a 8 year old trapped in a 40 year olds' body, kind of like Lennie from Of Mice and Men. The vikings pretty much showed him a nice soft puppy and that made him excited to come back and play. We all know how this story is going to end. Eventually, and I know it's sad, but somebody has to pull the proverbial trigger and shoot Lennie in the back of the head.

mosquito update

I went to lowes and asked the friendly gentleman in the pest control department about the best way to control the mosquitoes. He quickly pointed me to this Cutter product.

I will apply it in the next couple days and let you know how it works. I might have to get more when the party nears, but its only 10 bucks so that's not too bad. The guy said it would last 8 weeks or pretty much through the rest of the bug season.

those bugs are toast.....