back from florida

Laura and I made it back from Florida Sunday afternoon. We had a fantastic time on our vacation! While it was a ton of fun, I have to say its good to be back in Georgia where the people are just a touch less crazy. For those of you that have ever been to Florida, I'm just preaching to the choir, but for those of you that haven't, pay attention.

Now before I get started, I want to preface myself. When I talk about Floridians, I am not talking about the people that work at the Space Center, or for Harris, or for any other respectable company. I am not talking about normal people that raise a family and would fit in in any other place in the country. I am talking about the other 85% of the state that have no job, rob KFCs, breed cats in their basements, and/or drink Old English as they drive their kids to the bowling alley at 11am on a school day.

The irony of the situation is that Disney World (the happiest place on earth) is nestled in the center of the port-o-potty known as Florida. I haven't been on this earth too long, but I have to believe when Mr. Disney was creating his vision that is now Disney World, he would have thought twice about the location if he knew Orlando was going to the be trash can it is today. The best example of this is state highway 192. This is the aorta that supplies Orlando with its much needed filth and worthlessness. For miles you drive past souvenir stores packed with Big Johnson and No Fear t-shirts. Along with Hilton Head, SC Orlando has the highest concentration of Big Dog t-shirts in the world. There are at least 5 IHOPs and 4 all you can eat lobster buffets. The classiest place along the artery of sadness is probably the Denny's. This is because Denny's is the only place that has a strict dress code of shoes being mandatory and no wet bathing suits.

To further my point, watch the national news for a week. Odds are good you will see at least two stories about a parent punching their teenager in the face then slamming four Miller Lites and riding a tractor down the interstate. 10 times out of 10 that story will be out of Ocala or Broward County. Have you ever seen a 15 year old fight a 63 year old wearing crocs? If you've been to Fort Myers you probably have.

It is for these reasons that Florida truly is the wang of America.