Biggest loser predictions

Ok, I watched the newest season opener of the Biggest loser, and based on my limited knowledge of the ranchers and my unlimited knowledge of the show I will make my predictions.

First of all the season starts with, "Do you got what it Takes?" HAHA, not much I can add to that. I can already tell that this season is going to be awesome because we have some crazy women! Mix that with a healthy dose of Jillian and sparks are bound to fly! This year everybody is weighing in front of their hometown. So everybody they know is going to see their weight. I dont think this is as embarrassing as the producers might think. I mean all its going to do is just silence all the people who say, "holy craps! I bet that guy weights 350 pounds!"

Breakdown of the Teams
John and James - Fat Twins from, you guessed it, Florida. These guys are super fat! Its amazing!! However, because one of them (dont know which) was "hurt" they lost the first weigh in. So one of the chubby deckers is sent home. The other one really has no shot of winning in my humble opinion.

Stephanie and Patti - These cousins are pretty forgettable and remind me of mandy and whatsherface from Season 7. Oh yeah, Aubry. Patti looks like an egg, FYI. Seriously, check it out.

Daris and Cheryl - Daris does a great speech to a bunch of 5th graders that inspires nobody. He could win, but he has a funny looking nose, so I'm not convinced yet. Also his hair is super curly and for-like so he moves down a couple points in my eyes. Cherryl had a couple instances or banshee-like screaming. I hope she stops doing that because it is hella annoying. Daris could win, however. I put him in my top 4.

Koli and Sam - the producers for this show probably dont need to scramble to find a samoan couple that is overweight. Sam and Koli are the Sione and Filipe of Season 9. After their weigh in they gave us a taste of what's to come by letting out primal war screams. Honestly, how could I not like these tubby teddy bears? I think they will show well, but like Sione and Filipe, they will lose to some girls.

Sherry and Ashley - Oof, this team is something else. I call this team "Sherry and Ashley: Pigs in the City" because their pink shirts remind me of that lovable little pig, Babe. Although I never saw the Babe movies, I bet they were totally badass. This team could be good, but I think their Sabertooth-esque hair-dos will be their downfall. Ashley is over 350 so I dont think she can win. To win as a woman you gotta be in that 250-290 range. She eats that range for breakfasts.

Lance and Melissa - Team Texas. These two are pretty country. They talk with drawls and I bet by seasons end will even skin a wild boar or 6 point buck. They have a great chance of winning because they are a good age (30-40s) and have some energy. Some energy is more than most on this show. Also, Lance has a goatee that would make an actual billy goat say "Damn, Gina!". Watch this team to do some things this season.

Miggy and Migdalia - Puerto Rican team who, after the first episode, seems super determined to win. These two latin firecrackers wont let you forget about their puertoricanacity. In every interview they professed that they will win because they are puerto rican and they are hot like salsa and they are not lazy. I think this bravado will diminish in a couple weeks. Ole!

Darrell and Andrea - Honestly I dont know much about this team, but here is how they are going to do. First, Darrell, my brother, you look amazing! Super white beard that totally hides your chin. Keep it Rocking! Andrea, I'm not sure what you bring to the teams so just stay out of Pappa Bear's way and you'll be ok. This teams makes an early exit I'm afraid. Darrell will throw the weigh in so he can get back to his closet full of meat at home. When you're hungry, you eat!

Michael and Maria - The italian sausage stallions this team is. Michael weighs in at a 2nd grader above Shay. That's right, the producers have found the elusive 500 pounder. Michael put it best when he said, "Its pretty bad, I weigh an obese person more than some of the obese people here." Sho nuff! I like this guy because he is funny, his mom is wacky, and his fingers are really fat. Like I always say, fat people are funny. He wont win, but he will do good as a stay at home contestant.

there were two other couples that were kicked off because they didnt ride their bikes fast enough. They have no chance of winning. They will be brought back in about 3 weeks to square off for another chance on the ranch. But dont worry, the winner of that weigh off will be eliminated soon there after (is that one word or three? I dont know).

My Winner for the season is Daris. I dont feel good about that pick because I dont believe anybody named Daris should win anything. But, who knows.